Have you ever felt out of control and at the mercy of negative emotions? Maybe you had a really bad day at work and snapped at your family when you got home. Perhaps the environment you were in was just too loud and busy and you decided to isolate yourself in the corner. We all experience overwhelming feelings at some point, but if you find this is a consistent thing for you, you may struggle with emotional dysregulation. Luckily, there are ways you can identify exactly what is happening for you and how to use this knowledge to develop a regulation plan.
What is emotional dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation refers to a difficulty or inability to regulate your emotional responses. This may look like strong reactions to situations, overwhelming negative feelings, difficulty controlling emotions, and difficulty coping with stress. Emotional dysregulation tends to fall into three general categories:
- Hyperarousal: Compared with other individuals, those with hyperarousal may experience more intense thoughts, feelings and reactions. This could look like angry outbursts or frequent meltdowns.
- Hypoarousal: This occurs when an individual’s emotional tolerance is too low for the situation. This may result in isolation, withdrawal from social connections, and feeling a disconnect between emotions and the body.
- Emotional numbness: This can lead to feeling empty and disconnected from the self.
What causes emotional dysregulation?
Keep in mind that it would be impossible for someone to be always regulated. We all have moments of feeling dysregulated. If you experience this more often than other people seem to, it may be due to past experiences such as early childhood trauma or a traumatic brain injury. Emotion dysregulation may also be linked to genetic factors or being in a high stress environment. Some mental health disorders such as anxiety, ADHD, or bipolar disorder can also impact the way the brain regulates emotions. It can be useful to reflect on your own personal history and mental health concerns to determine your unique factors when it comes to emotional dysregulation.
It may also be helpful to reflect on your individual triggers and situations in which you feel overwhelmed by emotion. Common triggers include:
- Conflict in relationships
- Overwhelming environments
- Stress situations
- Reminders of trauma
Knowing what sets off a strong response is very useful data when it comes to planning how to calm yourself. If you know certain situations or places are likely to spark a big reaction, you can prepare yourself for this and use strategies to keep yourself more regulated.
What can I do when I feel dysregulated?
If you are feeling out of control, for a strategy to work, it must be tailored to your individual personality and what resonates with you. Tips for stronger emotional regulation can work. Try to think about where you feel most calm. Do you love to garden? Do you feel the urge to go for a walk when upset? Does your pet bring you comfort and uplift your spirit? Personal interests and enjoyable activities can be implemented into your plan for regulating yourself when upset. However, there are common tips and tricks for emotional regulation, which include:
- Mindfulness activities
- Physical exercise
- Deep breathing
- Spending time in nature
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) have also been shown to help with emotional regulation. If you feel you need some support outside of your usual strategies, working with a professional within either of these frameworks may be a good option. We offer DBT and CBT in Duncan, Port Alberni, Nanaimo and Virtual Counselling.
If you’d like to learn more about how you can effectively manage your emotions, please reach out to any of our clinicians for a free 15-minute consultation.
Written by Cat Zydyk
References:
Quinn, D. (2023, August 7). Emotional dysregulation: 11+ types, causes, & best treatments. Sandstone Care. https://www.sandstonecare.com/blog/emotional-dysregulation/