A Blog Post for Island Clinical Counselling
I’ve always considered resilience to be one of my defining qualities. The ability to adapt and “handle whatever comes” has long felt like a well-earned badge of honour. The internal narrative that I can overcome whatever is thrown my way has been something I’ve leaned on in both my personal and professional life. However, I was recently prompted to reflect on the notion of resiliency and how there may be another side to it that I hadn’t considered.
Part of the perks of registering with the B.C. Association of Clinical Counsellors is that you are sent each copy of their Insights Magazine. I was flipping through a recent issue and came across an article discussing “toxic resilience.” As soon as I read the term, something deep in my gut responded. That phrasing resonated with me in a profound way…and demanded some exploration.
The article describes how resilience, when taken to an extreme, can become a kind of self-neglect. A relentless pushing forward at the expense of our own well-being, often leading to burnout. Symptoms of burnout don’t always arrive dramatically. They can creep in over time. It can sound like “I’ll just push through this week” repeated for months. It can look like ignoring tension in your shoulders, feeling an increase in fatigue, and emotional numbness.
Who may be more at risk of resilience-based burnout?
People who strongly identify as the “strong” or “reliable” one
- High achievers and perfectionists who set consistently high standards for themselves
- Caregivers and helping professionals who prioritize others’ needs over their own
- Individuals who have learned to suppress or override their own limits
- Those working in high demand or emotionally intensive roles where pushing through is normalized
- People who struggle to say no and often feel guilty when they do
Oh boy! If you saw yourself in this list, you are not alone!
While I do not feel I am close to burnout, I believe it is important to increase my awareness in this area. I think it’s important for us to grow our ability to notice early signs, check in with ourselves, and listen to what we need rather than what we feel is expected. We don’t need to abandon our strength, just redefine it. It might be more about what we need to set down, rather than how much more we can carry.
Tips for redefining resilience:
- Strengthen social support: stay connected, reach out, and take time for experiences outside of current responsibilities
- Manage schedules intentionally: build in breaks, set realistic expectations, and respect emotional, mental, and physical limits
- Check in with yourself regularly: how are you feeling? What are the clues that mean you are extending yourself?
- Set boundaries: around your time, energy, and availability
- Normalize rest: this is productive time! Take time out to just chill…and yes, this may mean you binge-watch the newest season of that Netflix show!
- Seek balance: allow space for both productivity and recovery
This may not look perfect all the time. We all have days or weeks that overwhelm us. However, the intention is to lean into resilience when it’s needed to navigate challenges without keeping ourselves in that “strong” state forever.
If the idea of “toxic resilience” resonates with you, too, you are not alone. Many of us have been taught that “pushing through” is the goal. But what if strength also includes knowing when to step back? Maybe just because we can doesn’t mean we should. I know this is something I will be keeping in mind as I search for that balance in my life.
Written by Cat Zydyk
References
Chandra, S. (2026). Behind the façade: When strength and resilience conceal burnout. Insights, Winter 2025, 19-23. https://bcacc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/Insights_Winter_Magazine_2025.pdf